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I really like your story, I think that it will have lots of excitement. I think that your drawings could've been expanded on more, by adding more detail. I think that you should have less going on it the story, I found that it was hard to keep track of what order everything is going on. I think that your story will be really suspenseful .

Graham

1fbd9d11-d226-4e2f-9910-80175ad0b469

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