Nice work! You make me really care about Melody right away and I am interested in what her journey will be. I am very intrigued by the discovery of the magic aisle and the glowing milk and I thin you set up Act 2 well. I also like the loose style of your drawings to illustrate what is happening. One think that I think could make your drawings stronger is either the use of color or darker pencil lines to emphasize where you want the viewer to look.